


and I never really thought about it

by dissonancies



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Overthinking, Spoilers up to ep123, What's Dumber Than Wizards Nothing, brief mention of Caleb's canonical feelings for Jester, does Verin Thelyss know I love him, this is self-indulgent nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29196306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dissonancies/pseuds/dissonancies
Summary: When they arrived at the outpost, there was an unfamiliar man at Essek's side.Which was-That-It was-Fine, obviously. It was fine.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 39
Kudos: 419
Collections: shadowgast faves





	and I never really thought about it

**Author's Note:**

> YES Essek is evil, YES I love him anyway, YES he deserves to get dunked on, NO I don't think the M9 have actually treated him very well, YES my clown shoes fit very well thank you for asking. This was supposed to be a quick and silly thing but it kind of got away from me and I'm not sure it ended up where I meant for it to. OH WELL. I stayed up to 4am so I could put this out into the world before canon rips my heart into tiny pieces tonight.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I have not written fanfic in so many years it doesn't even bear mentioning. If this is wildly out of character or contradicts some canon details that I've forgotten, don't tell me because I'll cry. <3

When they arrived at the outpost, there was an unfamiliar man at Essek's side.

There were many unfamiliar people at the outpost, technically, though most of them passed through the hazy peripherals of Caleb's vision without much notice. Soldiers for the most part, opening the gates at a shouted command to usher the battered party inside, rushing about on whatever orders were being barked back and forth- the language was foreign to his ears, although he doubted he would have been able to easily follow the thread even if it wasn't. His brain felt like it had been struck with a slowing spell, thoughts that usually raced through his skull instead seeming like they were trudging through waist-high mud just to make it to the forefront of his mind. Fighting the fatigue of the previous days was a battle he was rapidly losing, and he knew it was only the competing adrenaline and tension that was keeping him upright at this point. Trying to think about anything that had just happened in the last twenty-four hours was an especially arduous task, and honestly, Caleb couldn't really bring himself to try. So instead he tethered his dwindling consciousness to what was directly in front of his gaze, which was consistently this: Essek, and the unknown man at Essek's side.

He was a drow, as most everyone here was, and Caleb could see he wore the sharp-lined armor of a Kryn knight wherever it wasn't obscured by the thick furs and wools required by the frigid environment. A half-cape was affixed to one shoulder, draped across his collar and pinned with a small silver crest of a dodecahedron, while an elaborate, albeit messy, braid of nearly pink-silver hair was pulled over the other. His face was handsome in a rugged way; youthful, but prematurely weathered by a life that clearly involved a certain amount of stress. This impression was enforced by a set of scars across the left side of his face, four thin parallel lines that stretched from his temple to just the top of his cheek. _Claw marks,_ Caleb's hazy mind supplied, distantly and several seconds late. There were slight wrinkles at the very corners of the man's eyes, which were a shade of blue-violet that reminded Caleb of something he couldn't quite recall at the moment.

The man had been trailing just behind Essek when he rushed out to meet the party, along with a cleric that Essek had immediately set to mending those of them most in need. While the cleric moved efficiently through the group and the guards around them rushed to and fro, the other man held a steady position at Essek's elbow, just behind and to the side like a shadow. Caleb didn't truly notice him at first, wholly occupied with making sure everyone was in one piece and that they had no pursuers immediately beating down the outpost gates behind them.

He had been busy watching Essek, too; the elf was half-frantic from the moment they had appeared, which was...sweet, really. His hands twitched at his side, clearly itching to reach out as he alternated between fretting and scolding, expression rapidly flickering from relief to worry, joy to fear to anger and then back again, faster than Caleb's sluggish mind could follow. It made something quiet and fond stir in his chest, despite his misgivings, to see the man so blatantly ruffled for their sake. Jester, of course, had tackled him in a tight embrace near instantly and refused to let go for a long while, forcing their host to half-carry her into the cramped barracks that had been prepared for them. Essek hadn't even seemed to mind, which made the strange fond feeling ache pleasantly.

Between the tiefling's hiccupped rambling and the rest of the group talking over each other to explain the mess they were in, Caleb quickly found himself drifting from the conversation, unable to fully keep up. He felt his mind tunneling as he blinked hard against the exhaustion, eyes darting about in an effort to stay present, and it was then that he truly started to focus on the unfamiliar presence in the room.

Watching Essek as closely as he had been, he'd nearly missed how the second drow had tensed when Jester threw herself at the Shadowhand. He noted it now, however; the way the man flanked Essek with one hand gently braced on the sword at his waist, watching them all closely, fingers flexing ever so slightly on the hilt each time one of them moved into Essek's space without warning. His posture was relaxed but alert, the movements on the sword not twitchy, but always _ready_. Prepared, controlled, well-practiced.

Apparently, Essek had picked up a bodyguard at some point. Caleb couldn't figure out if this struck him as odd or not. To be sure, the Shadowhand was a high ranking member of the Bright Queen's council, the kind of position that might occasionally demand extra security. But Essek had never before bothered with such a thing back in Rosohna. Surely, an escort was no more needed out here in the middle of the frozen wastes than it would be in a densely populated city. Or...was it? Eiselcross was deadly territory. Caleb couldn't tell; at the moment it was too much to ask of his beleaguered brain.

In either case, the man seemed content for now to stay silent behind his charge and let the group explain themselves. Essek, for his part, appeared to ignore him completely, fixated on the Nein's story, mostly listening or interjecting with questions when necessary. The cleric from before filtered in and out of the room occasionally, along with a few different soldiers who stepped in to drop off supplies or pick up orders. Essek's shadow remained nearly the whole time, only stepping away once: the conversation had stalled awkwardly after they had reluctantly reported what they knew of the Tombtaker's capabilities, and Essek finally turned to the man with a grim expression.

"Have the guard double up on all sentries and patrols. Widen the range for our scouting parties as well. We _cannot_ be caught unaware, should this other group approach."

The man nodded, then spoke for the first time. "I'm wary of risking the clerics, but any spellcasters capable of Sending should be grouped with the scouts at all times. A warning even a few minutes sooner could make the difference."

"Do so, then," Essek agreed readily, "Right away. Anyone who is tapped should be reassigned to rest and prepare it as soon as possible." He lifted his chin subtly toward the door in an urging gesture, a silent _'and hurry.'_

Caleb watched the exchange with gears turning in his mind. Whoever this person was, Essek didn't speak to him like he was just hired muscle. He didn't bark commands and orders like he had with the other soldiers. Although that may have been his agitation with the situation, the difference here was noticable. And the ease with which the man had contributed his own suggestion spoke more of a shared duty than deference to authority. A fellow overseer, then? Caleb had no idea about the power structure here, but the way this stranger shadowed Essek seemed odd if that was the case. It was too...protective, too defensive, the way he kept cautious eyes on each of them in turn while never moving out of Essek's reach. Caleb in his exhaustion felt that he was holding two pieces to a puzzle and dumbly smashing them together in a frustrated attempt to make them fit.

Essek began to turn back to the Nein, when suddenly the man grabbed his elbow and leaned in close. The puzzle pieces crumpled in Caleb's hands.

He felt vaguely detached from his body, like he was watching the scene through Frumpkin's eyes. Distantly, objectively, he recognized that there was no heat there, no spark in the way the man's fingers curled under Essek's arm, the way his face tilted down to speak low and serious into his ear. It was almost dispassionate- professional, at the very least. It was...nothing, really.

But the movement brought them so close together, was so _familiar_ in a way that Caleb had never seen anyone dare to behave with Essek- no one except the Mighty Nein, that is. No one except himself. He abruptly recalled a moment, months ago now: a distant forest, a hand on Essek's forearm, a small squeeze that the other mage had jerked away from as though burned.

Essek did not pull away now, listening to this soldier speak with lips pressed into a tight line. His face turned just slightly back towards the other man to respond, and Caleb stared. He imagined he could see a few strands that had fallen free of the stranger's braid sway in the soft gust of Essek's breath near his cheek. He said something in return that Caleb couldn't hear, though the few sounds that made it to his ears had a cadence he didn't understand anyway. _Undercommon._ He felt a sudden, surprisingly intense flash of frustration at not being able to know what they were saying, so quiet and urgent and _close_.

_'You all talk so closely when you speak to one another...'_

The memory of Beau's voice echoed teasingly in his mind, and he shook himself from the bizarre pitfall his mind had stumbled into. Gods, what was he even thinking about? After the day they'd had, the things they had faced and were now running from, _this_ was when he decided to finally lose his cool? Two colleagues were speaking about how they might defend themselves against the murderous cult on their heels and Caleb was suddenly unhappy about how close Essek's face was to another man's. _Brilliant, Widogast, perfectly sensible._

What did it even matter to him, anyway? Caleb did not have exclusive right to be close to Essek's face. Not that he would have wanted such a thing, if it were offered. He hadn't even wanted to _come_ here. It was only desperate circumstances that had led them to the outpost, all other options thoroughly exhausted. The wound of Essek's betrayal still gaped in his chest, open and raw at the edges. Two months apart had done nothing to heal the ache, and facing Essek now, even as open and eager to help as he seemed to be, made it throb keenly in a way he tried to ignore.

And if he was being honest - which he was too tired not to be, at least in his own head - he'd tried _so hard_ to ignore it. It had seemed such a minor, irrelevant thing, in the midst of everything else they were dealing with, and so he had pushed it aside day after day, week after week. They had more important things to do. He simply could _not_ spend every waking moment nursing his injured pride and wounded heart. He couldn't lie awake, feeling embarrassed and foolish, agonizing over every word and moment that had passed between them, every detail he had been forced to reexamine in the wake of Essek's confession. He did not have the _time_ to wonder if any of it had ever been real, truly, or if he had really been the only one of them to have ever let his gaze drift, watching the other surreptitiously over the pages of their spellbooks, quickly glancing away every time bright blue eyes accidentally met with piercing indigo, and think, for a moment, _maybe, just maybe..._

Caleb didn't have time for that. So he pushed it down, down, deep underneath everything else that they were pursuing, and he got up every day and moved himself forward alongside his friends, and he didn't think about it, and it didn't heal, and everything remained the same.

So, no. There was no sense in the way his stomach flipped unpleasantly at how the stranger stood so near to Essek, grip tightening on his arm once before he finally stepped out of the room to pass on the new orders. There was no reason whatsoever for Caleb to find himself facing memories of a time when Essek had once been that close to him, his face cradled in Caleb's hand and sharing breath between them. It hadn't meant anything then, not really, and it definitely didn't mean anything now. Caleb inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly. He was just tired. He was simply so exhausted that his mind was getting away from him, skipping like a record, stuck on nonsensical thoughts while he was helpless to control it. That was all it was.

 _But who the hell IS he,_ his mind demanded, ever-curious, hungry with questions and insatiable for the answers. _Who is this man to Essek? Who is he, to touch him so easily and without repercussion, to stand so closely and speak so softly?_

It wasn't that Caleb cared. It was just strange, that was all. People simply didn't...they didn't touch Essek like that. It was far too overfamiliar for an ordinary colleague to get away with. Perhaps it could be explained in this case as merely the behavior of a rougher type of soldier, trapped out here at a rickety outpost in the middle of nowhere with no reason to stand on ceremony. It made enough sense. But that still didn't explain why Essek had _allowed_ it. Caleb couldn't imagine the Essek he knew to tolerate such presumptuous contact without so much as a disapproving grimace, and yet he had. Had stood there and accepted the touch like it was nothing.

Like it was expected.

Caleb realized with a jolt that this man _must_ have touched Essek's arm before.

What had _happened_ while they were gone? A mere two months away and somehow Essek had picked up this...this bizarre hanger-on, who hovered over his shoulder and eyed them all like a vigilant guard dog, who felt perfectly comfortable placing his hands on Essek as though he had the _right_ to do so. As though they were _friends._

Essek didn't _have_ friends. He'd said as much plenty of times. Had assured them, almost self-deprecatingly, that he was a solitary creature, that he had no one else to confide in but them. Had that been a lie as well? Or was this simply something new? A new relationship that had sprung up in the time they'd all been gone...because, yes, they had been gone for some time, hadn't they?

Essek _hadn't_ had other friends...before they had left him.

Caleb felt a sudden chill that had nothing to do with the weather. They had _left_ him. For two months. He'd bared his soul to them, threw himself at their mercy, been mollified with threats and promises alike, and then they had walked away without a word. Caleb had been nursing his own hurt for so long that he had never wasted a thought on what the last several weeks may have been like for Essek. They had left him, busted open and unmoored, grappling with a loneliness he had only just come to realize existed.

Maybe, in that time, that newfound sense of isolation had been stifling enough for him to have reached out to someone, anyone. Maybe, something had shifted in him enough that he would have risked forging a new connection with this stranger.

And if so...wasn't that good? Wasn't that a promising sign- that Essek may finally have begun to care about more people, that he may have been turning out from himself at last? And he had done it even without them all guiding him, even without the Mighty Nein's help. Caleb thought that that must be a good thing, surely.

So he wasn't sure why he felt so put out by it.

Maybe it was that he had no idea what this person was like. Essek had reached out for a connection once before, after all...to the Cerberus Assembly. To some of the very worst people in Wildemount. If Essek's new...friend...was anything like their ilk, and Essek had latched onto him in the floundering isolation the Nein had left in their wake...

A curling tendril of dread and guilt settled uncomfortably in Caleb's gut. It wouldn't be their fault, if he had. It _wouldn't._ But somehow, it felt like it. They had told him he was like them, one of them, and then left him behind. They had told him he could do good, and then refused to provide an opportunity.

(But Caleb hadn't _lied._ He'd told Essek that the Nein could change him. He hadn't ever said they _would._ )

 _It's not our job to make him into a better person,_ the coldly sensible part of his mind argued fiercely, _it is not my job._

But if he could have prevented him from getting _worse_ , and hadn't even tried, only to protect his own feelings...

He startled slightly when the mystery knight slipped back into the room, lingering nearby and waiting for Essek's attention again. Caleb watched him warily this time. He couldn't make a judgment based on the few words spoken so far, so he fixed the man with an intense stare, analyzing every motion and detail instead. He was distantly aware that if anyone was paying attention they would think Caleb was glaring at this person for no reason, but he didn't care. He wanted to know what the man's deal was. He _needed_ to know. He stared at him like he was an especially frustrating equation that he had to solve.

 _Who are you?_ his gaze demanded, eyes narrowing. _Are you going to be another obstacle for us- or for Essek? Has he replaced us with you? Do you even deserve that?_ Caleb was determined to know, even if he had to stare into this person's soul until he drew out the answers through his eyes alone.

Essek finished asking something to the group, and turned to acknowledge the stranger once more. As he did, one hand raised in his direction, almost automatically. Caleb's eyes followed the movement as Essek's fingers- just as long and elegant as he remembered them, remembered them delicately flipping through pages of a heavy tome, or dancing gracefully through the somatic elements of a spell-

He watched as Essek's fingertips just barely brushed over the stranger's shoulder, a touch so featherlight that it was more gesture than contact, the slightest hint of guiding motion to turn the two of them more towards each other as they fell into rapid discussion in Undercommon once more.

Caleb's evaluating thoughts fizzled faster than if someone had counterspelled them, leaving the inside of his head empty and echoing.

If no one ever dared to touch Essek ( _only, THEY had touched him, here and there, little by little, Jester's hugs, Caleb's tentative brushes_ ), then Essek _certainly_ never touched anyone himself ( _only, he had got them all holding hands to teleport, completely unnecessarily, had grabbed Caleb's own shoulder just once, without hesitation_ ). Essek _made_ himself untouchable, closed off behind his heavy cloak and mantle, never reaching out, always keeping to himself, defended by a cool gaze and cooler smile that protected him better than any armor. _Shadowhand Essek Thelyss_ absolutely did not raise a hand to absentmindedly brush his fingers against the sleeve of some random bodyguard, all while speaking to them in his native tongue with a quiet intensity.

In a daze, Caleb reconsidered how much blood he'd actually lost in that last fight.

Two months. He'd been gone for _two months._ Was that all it took? Apparently that was all the time that was needed for Essek to have completely pivoted away from being an aloof, detached asshole to being the kind of person who would...who...who would _shamelessly_ feel up an attractive man in front of _the gods and everyone_ \- Caleb caught his expression twisting into an ugly scowl and bit the inside of his cheek, hard.

 _'He BARELY touched him, Dummkopf,'_ the frayed remnants of his rational mind protested. _'It was nothing. This means NOTHING.'_

 _'But he **touched** him,'_ whatever horrid thing had abruptly seized control of his reactions shot back, nearly disconsolate. _'It has to mean something!'_

_'It doesn't!'_

_'But doesn't it?'_

_'...what if it does?'_

Caleb stared at the two drow, at the single point of contact between them.

What if it did?

Two months. Caleb thought about how much could change in that time. How much HAD changed, between him and the Nein in those earliest days. He had known Mollymauk for less than two months, he realized with an unpleasant twist in his gut. A fleeting connection, something so brief that meant so much to them all still, that they were still dealing with the fallout from even now. How, how could they have left Essek without word for all that time and thought it would change nothing? How could HE have thought that he could walk away, go gallivanting around the world and return at his leisure, and that Essek would still just _be_ there, exactly as he'd left him, like a loyal dog awaiting his master's return? Was Caleb really that arrogant, that self-absorbed?

(Of course he was. He and Essek were alike in so many ways.)

But of _course_ things had changed. Because time didn't stop just because he wasn't watching the clock. That's why Essek was here in Eiselcross, pursuing his own goals, living his own life still, without them- and now, with someone new by his side. Someone who watched over him so protectively. Someone who spoke to him so intently while standing so close, meeting his gaze evenly. Someone who didn't hesitate to touch him.

Someone who might, just maybe, _mean_ something to Essek.

Which was-

That-

It was-

Fine, obviously.

It was fine. That was _fine._ Why would it not be fine? Caleb had no desire to interfere with Essek's personal life. He didn't _care_ \- maybe, at one time, he might have, but not anymore. That path was closed to them now, just another potential timeline left to wither and fade in the wake of their choices. It was only that he was surprised, Caleb reasoned. Shocked, even, by the revelation that Essek might have a personal life at all. But of course, why not? Everything else aside, Essek was a terribly handsome man. Surely he had plenty of suitors to choose from, all throwing themselves at his floating feet. What it was about _this_ man in particular, Caleb didn't know, but that Essek had picked up an admirer out here should hardly be surprising.

(What _was_ it about this man, anyway? He didn't look magically inclined, which Caleb would have expected. Caleb wondered if the mystery man was even capable of explaining the difference between conjuration and evocation.

He doubted it.)

At least they made an attractive pair, he could begrudgingly admit that much. Caleb was well aware of Essek's good looks by now, but his companion was no slouch either. They both had fine features, all sharp cheekbones and piercing eyes, but the soldier was taller and broader by a bit, grizzled in a dashing way that contrasted interestingly with the Shadowhand's polished presence.

(Caleb wondered if Essek had a soft spot for the rough-and-tumble, adventurous type, absently rubbing a hand over the beard he'd grown out again.)

And if Essek really had...found someone...then he must have changed, at least a little. Right? Unless this was just the kind of thing he _did_. Caleb hadn't thought he was that kind of person; even their own flirtations were only the barest of things, no more than lingering looks, fond smirks, and suggestions so subtle that they could always be plausibly denied at a moment's notice. But then - the flash of righteous indignation returned - what did Caleb actually know about Essek, after all? Maybe Essek took strange men to bed all the time, and he simply hadn't needed to go that far with Caleb. Maybe he had just _never_ been interested in Caleb at all, and the flirting was only ever all in his head, and _this_ was the kind of person Essek really wanted all along.

Maybe it was just physical. Maybe he was using this man somehow.

Maybe he wasn't.

Maybe he actually liked him.

Maybe Essek was simply capable of liking someone, and acting on it, and having a relationship with someone who cared about him in return. Maybe Caleb was the one of them who wasn't changing, after all.

Shaken and weary, Caleb lingered on that last 'maybe.' He thought about Beau and Yasha and the way they'd been dancing around each other, with rapidly decreasing subtlety. He thought about Fjord approaching Jester after the battle with warmth in his voice and a casual kiss ( _because oh, gods, **that** had happened today too, hadn't it, and the open wound in his heart throbbed and burned so sharply it nearly took his breath away_). He thought about possibilities and potentialities, and he thought that regardless of timeline, it would only be fitting that Essek Thelyss of all people might find love before he did.

All at once the wire-thin band of tension that was holding him up snapped. Exhaustion crashed over him in a wave and he slumped into it, feeling hollow and burned out. The others were still talking and Caleb had no hope of catching up with them, though he struggled to pay attention to the words anyway. He tuned in just as the conversation lulled, and he became aware that the outpost healers had left by now. He cursed himself internally- he'd been too out of it to even notice. _Careless. Foolish._

Oh. Essek was saying something and he'd already missed half of it. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Caleb used to hang on his every word. "-more about this 'Cognouza' they are apparently seeking, though I may have some thoughts," Essek said, a thoughtful frown creasing his forehead. "How much have you learned already?"

The Nein answered with silence, sharing a series of reluctant glances between them. _Subtle,_ Caleb thought flatly.

"Okay, look, I hate that we seriously don't have any other options, but we _seriously_ don't have any other options," Beau responded with a huff, arms crossed and shoulders hunched as she fixed Essek with a steely glare. It seemed a bit unfocused; Caleb wondered if they should call back a few of the healers. "So sure, fine, whatever. We'll tell you what we know. But maybe we can get, y'know, some fucking privacy first?"

Essek looked briefly puzzled, but understanding quickly lit his eyes as he straightened, glancing over his shoulder. Oh. Beau was glaring at the stranger, not Essek.

Well. Truthfully she might have been glaring at them both.

"Ah," Essek blinked, as though he'd forgotten that his companion was still intruding. _How comfortable,_ Caleb thought bitterly. He must be very reliable, for the ever-cautious Essek to take his presence for granted. "Of course, I- if you could give us a few minutes, please?" he addressed the soldier, turning to face him.

The man frowned, eyes flickering over the group again. "Are you sure?"

"This is highly sensitive information. Their caution is understandable," Essek said, diplomatically. "Go check with the guard, ensure they are all aware of the new schedule."

"They know how to do their jobs. Everyone will already be aware or be receiving the news as we speak," the man answered with a small huff. "If there's more to this situation that you've yet to be told, I should know about it too."

"This is different. It isn't related to the immediate threat posed to the outpost." Essek briefly glanced back at the group for confirmation and received scattered nods and affirmative noises. "If anything comes up that you need to know, I will of course let you know right away." This didn't seem to satisfy the other drow, who only frowned deeper.

"Essek-"

( _Essek. Not 'Shadowhand,' not 'Thelyss'. Essek._ )

"Verin," Essek cut him off sternly, but not harshly. "Please. This is important, there isn't time for this argument." He paused. "The information they hold could be vital to the safety of the Dynasty." The patriotic reasoning sounded comically hollow and fake to Caleb's ears. Thankfully, no one laughed.

The soldier hesitated, eyes flickering rapidly over the spring-coiled tense atmosphere of the group before returning to Essek. His voice dropped, though not nearly enough to be private in the silence of the room. "You know it's not just the Dynasty's safety I'm concerned with."

Jester gasped out an offended noise. "Hey! What's THAT supposed to mean?? We're not gonna hurt Essek!" A few of the others looked ready to say something as well - though whether to agree with or protest Jester's statement, Caleb didn't know - but Essek was already holding up a hand to stop them.

"It's fine, Jester. Ignore him, please. He is simply a bit," he rolled his eyes, the beginning of a smirk quirking at the edge of his lips, "Overprotective." The other man bristled.

"It's my _job_ to be 'overprotective,' you-"

"As I have explained before, it is not a job if no one _hired_ you."

"You _asked_ me to come! I HAVE to watch your back, you wouldn't last a minute out here if your fancy magic decides to blow up in your face-"

"That doesn't mean I need you constantly _fussing_ -"

"Holy _shit_ ," Beau blurted out, cutting through the bickering with all the elegance of Yasha's blade. "Get a fucking room, you two."

Caleb felt his heart drop to his knees. It was one thing to stew in the thought in his own mind, but hearing it acknowledged out loud was a different beast. Against his wishes his traitorous gaze flicked over to the two drow...but instead of seeming flustered or embarrassed, he found them wearing twin expressions of disgust. Essek's face had blanched lilac, mouth working uselessly around a rebuttal. Behind him, the soldier made an exaggerated retching noise.

_Huh._

"No," Essek finally managed, voice delightfully strained. "No no, Luxon's light, no, that is not- no."

"You sure?" Beau quirked an eyebrow doubtfully. "Because like, I get it. It's cold as balls up here, you're confined together for long periods, the tension builds- I'm just saying, if you two need to work some shit out, we can take a nap and get back to you in the morning-" Essek made a sound in the back of his throat like a moorbounder with a hairball.

_"He's my **brother."**_

Caleb stopped breathing.

There was complete silence for a single second, before there was an explosion of shocked "WHAT"s from the rest of the Nein. Jester's dramatic gasp drowned them all out, loud enough that he suspected Lucien could have used it to track them if all else failed. "YOU HAVE A _BROTHER_?!?"

"I do," Essek sighed, looking both relieved and weary. Knowing Jester as he did, Caleb could relate. "My apologies. I should have introduced you sooner, but your arrival had me...distracted." He cleared his throat, falling back on deeply ingrained manners as he swept a hand backwards. "Mighty Nein, this is Taskhand Verin Thelyss. He is accompanying me on this expedition as support along with a contingent of his soldiers, but ordinarily he commands the garrison forces at Bazzoxan. He is also my younger brother. Verin, these are the Mighty Nein, heroes of the Dynasty and defenders of Wildemount."

The Taskhand nodded and opened his mouth, but Jester's squeal drowned out whatever response he may have made. "Essek! Ohmygosh ohmygosh, I totally should have realized sooner, he is JUST as hot as you!" She bounced forward on the balls of her feet and forged ahead before either of them could find a response to that. Not that it would have mattered, since she was just being kind anyway- Essek was clearly the more handsome of the two.

"Oh, woah, okay then. Sorry for implying you were macking on your brother, dude," Beau said not-at-all apologetically, earning another cringe from the brothers Thelyss. Jester continued to glance back and forth between them rapidly, apparently still comparing their looks.

"Why didn't you ever TELL us you had a little brother???"

"You didn't ask," Essek shrugged weakly. The other man - _Verin_ , Verin _Thelyss_ , his _brother_ \- scoffed lightly.

"I wouldn't take it as an offense if I were you. Essek and I are not, ah, close. And given our respective positions, we really don't see each other that often."

"Indeed," Essek agreed with a smirk, seeming to recover some of his usual persona. "Sometimes I am blessedly able to forget he exists for _years_ at a time." Verin sneered and narrowed his blue-violet eyes in return, and _oh_ , Caleb was such a fool, because they had the same eyes. Of _course_ they were brothers. He felt dazed again, but somehow he minded it less this time.

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, Verin. Your brother has been watching out for us while we were guests of your country, and done us a great number of favors." Fjord, ever the diplomat, stepped up and offered a hand that Verin warily shook for a grand total of two seconds before Jester shoved herself between the two men. She practically pounced on Verin, snatching his hand out of Fjord's grip so fast that he stumbled forward, free hand twitching again toward his sword hilt on instinct.

"That's right, that's right! Essek is sooo cool and powerful and he's helped us out like, a bunch of times, because he totally loves us and is just like, a _really_ good friend." She swiveled her head to grin at Essek, who coughed into his fist and looked away. The tips of his ears were flushed a darker purple, and Caleb didn't think it was from the cold. It was rather fetching on him, truthfully.

"R...ight. That...definitely sounds like Essek, alright," Verin deadpanned, gaze flicking over to his brother incredulously.

"I just can't believe he never mentioned you, we- ESSEK! We were IN Bazzoxan, Essek, don't you remember? We could have said hi! Oh, oh, do you have any other brothers or sisters or is it just you two? How old are you, are you like really close or really far apart? Because I know elves grow up differently but are you like a hundred or are you like, _twenty_? Are you a _baby_ drow, Verin?"

Verin said "NO!" at the same time that Essek said _"Yes."_ Caleb was bewildered to find himself snickering, feeling strangely light and giddy. Once again, he considered blood loss as a likely culprit.

Affronted, Verin struggled to regain his composure while casting a quick glare at Essek. _"Actually_ , we're very close in age. I'm only fifteen years younger than Essek."

"Whaaat, but that's still a lot!" Jester gasped.

"Not for drow."

"As entertaining as it is to watch you accost my brother-" Essek piped up, visibly fighting to keep the smirk from his face and losing, "and make no mistake, it is _very_ entertaining - I feel we are getting off-topic. We still have important business to discuss, do we not?" The reminder dampened the mood of the room almost instantly. Essek continued, hands folding behind his back with his usual grace, "Verin, I assure you, there is no need for you to watch me at every moment. And I trust you, but there is always certain information that must only be said in the strictest confidence. I will let you know of anything that pertains to the outpost's defense."

Verin nearly pouted, looking over the group again, although this time the tension had been utterly shattered by Jester's seemingly overflowing enthusiasm for this new revelation. If he had really been worried about them doing anything harmful to Essek, it was apparent that his fears were...somewhat diminished, now.

"Fine," he relented, "I'll go look over everything with the guards again. Make sure my men are ready." He nodded stiffly at the group, seeming to remember his manners several minutes late. "It was...a pleasure to make the acquaintance of the...to meet friends of my brother." The words sounded foreign in his mouth.

"Oh, you too!" Jester gushed, taking Verin's hands in her own again, much to his bemusement. "Don't worry, we'll TOTALLY make time to get to know each other later after we save the world or whatever, I promise. We can swap Essek stories, it'll be fun! Oh my gosh, you have to tell me _everything_ about when he was a little baby drow. I _need_ to know. I _deserve_ to know." She leaned in conspiratorially, though her volume didn't change in the slightest. "After all, I'm Essek's _best_ friend."

Verin's gaze immediately shot to his brother, eyebrows raised so high they risked escaping his face altogether. Essek made a considering noise, shrugging one shoulder smoothly and ultimately nodding his assent with a tiny, almost bashful smile.

Jester grinned triumphantly. Verin looked terribly alarmed.

Caleb hid his sudden, unrestrained laughter behind a hand, and found the exhaustion of the day leaving his shoulders like a blanket of snow melting away in the sun.


End file.
